|Captain Kevin Darling (ca. 1868 - 1917)|
|Occupation||British Army Captain|
|First appearance||"Captain Cook"|
|Episode count||6 Episodes|
|Played by||Tim McInnerny|
Captain Kevin Darling (ca. 1868 - 1917), whose surname is a constant embarrassment to him, is a British Army Captain, serving in the First World War. He is a pencil-pushing staff officer, aide to General Melchett.
Kevin Darling was born in Croydon and educated in the Ipplethorpe Primary School, and even has a girlfriend called Doris. In "Private Plane", when pushed by Blackadder, Darling lets slip that he once attempted to join the Women's Auxiliary Balloon Corps (although he says there is nothing "cushy" about this), presumably to take advantage of the six months' training in order to avoid combat, and then it is implied he pulled out before any actual assignments by claiming his ears go 'pop'. Given the context of this conversation (Blackadder is attempting to get transferred into the Royal Flying Corps), and Darling's character in general, he has presumably pulled some strings to allow him to remain in the army without having to serve in battle.
Despite (or perhaps because of) his constant toadying, Melchett views Darling with a great deal of contempt, and although claiming to regard him as a son, takes pains to point out that he's certainly not a favourite, but rather a "sort of spotty, illegitimate sprog that no-one really likes". Darling's main duties at GHQ include unloading and assigning truckloads of paper clips, sending orders to charge and helping Melchett with his dickie-bows and his dicky bladder. Still, Darling obtains the perfect stereotypical appearance, character and behaviour of a power-crazed sycophant.
Unlike most characters (who are usually comic foils), Darling is portrayed as a rival and intellectual equal to Blackadder, with whom he is always in conflict, and one who usually triumphs. However, Blackadder often gets some sort of revenge, for example feeding Darling, along with Melchett, with one of Baldrick's banquets (each dish consisting of unsavoury ingredients), getting him to eat Baldrick's "Charlie Chaplin" Moustache (in reality a dead slug) by telling him it's liquorice, watching as Lord Flashheart headbutts him out cold, interrogating him until he bursts into tears and protests that he's not a German spy, or serving Darling some of Baldrick's "coffee"—made from mud, using dandruff as sugar and saliva as cream (Blackadder did not take up Baldrick's offer of 'chocolate sprinkles').
Darling was shown to be incredibly narcissistic and extremely arrogant, as he only cared about himself and his social standing. He was extremely selfish and was happy for others to die in his place. He is constantly trying to get rid of Edmund Blackadder, with whom he shares an incredible grudge. He was a coward, and went to extraordinary lengths to avoid being sent over the top.
The two men finally achieve a form of empathy in the finale episode "Goodbyeee", when Darling is sent to join Blackadder and his men at the front line for the 'final push' (Darling is given his orders by General Melchett, who believes it to be something of a treat rather than a death sentence). This is the first occasion where they both use the title of captain whilst addressing each other. In the final scene both captains reluctantly go forward, side-by-side, into the machine gunfire that will almost certainly kill them.
- Is left-handed as revealed in the episode "Captain Cook".