|“Dish and Dishonesty”|
|Blackadder the Third, Episode 1|
|Written by||Richard Curtis & Ben Elton|
|Directed by||Mandie Fletcher|
|Guest stars||Vincent Hanna|
|Original airdate||17th September 1987|
|List of episodes|
Dish and Dishonesty was the first episode in Blackadder the Third, the show's third series. It introduced the new characters for the regulars. Because the plot involved an election, it has frequently been re-shown on election days.
The newly elected Prime Minister, Pitt the Younger, plans to bankrupt Prince Prince George by striking him from the Civil List. With Parliament deadlocked, Blackadder devises a plan to have Baldrick elected as an MP in the rotten borough of Dunny-on-the-Wold and thus ensure the bill will be defeated.
The newly appointed Prime Minister, Pitt the Younger (portrayed here as a petulant teenager), wants to declare war on Napoleon Bonaparte, give "tougher sentences" for his geography teacher "Banana Breath" Rickshanks, and, most of all, strike the idiotic Prince Regent from the Civil List. Hearing this, the Prince is nonetheless convinced that the general public adore him because yesterday, he heard them singing "We hail Prince George! We hail Prince George!", only to be corrected by his butler, Mr. Blackadder, as "We hate Prince George! We hate Prince George!" Since the House of Commons is evenly divided on the issue, Blackadder suggests to the Prince that they tip the scales in his favour by bribing a Member of Parliament (MP) named Sir Talbot Buxomly (Denis Lill) with the position of High Court judge. The Prince calls for Buxomly, who, after assuring the Prince that he will stand by him, promptly sits down in a chair and dies.
Moving quickly, Blackadder realizes that Buxomly represented the constituency of Dunny-on-the-Wold, a rotten borough consisting of a tiny plot of land with several farm animals - 3 mangy cows, a Dachsund named Colin, a small hen in its late fourties - and only one voter. Blackadder chooses to instate Baldrick as the constituency's new MP to ensure that he votes in favor of the Prince.
Pitt hears about all this and comes down to visit the Prince, the latter not recognizing him at first. The PM reveals that he once suffered "alone in a cold schoolroom, a hot crumpet burning my cheeks with shame" under the Prince's sort before seeking and succeeding to become what he is today. Blackadder complements that Pitt wasn't "too busy to remove the crumpet." Pitt declares that he shall have his own brother, William Pitt the Even Younger, as a candidate on his side. When he leaves, Blackadder tells the Prince how they shall win the election: firstly, fight the campaign on "issues, not personalities"; secondly, be "the only fresh thing on the menu"; and thirdly, cheat. After an obviously rigged election when it is revealed that Blackadder is both the constituency's returning officer (whose predecessor died when he accidentally brutally stabbed himself in the stomach while shaving) and voter (whose predecessor accidentally brutally cut his head off while combing his hair), Baldrick is made an MP in a landslide victory.
Once Baldrick enters the House of Commons, Pitt manipulates him into voting the wrong way, and the issue proceeds to the House of Lords. Blackadder realises the lords will never let the bill through, and plans to get himself named to the House of Lords, where he will be able to vote against the bill, and he even purchases a ludicrously expensive catskin robe in preparation. However, his scheme is ruined by Prince George's stupidity and Baldrick is elevated instead. He is also given £400,000 to bribe a few Lords, which he spends on a giant turnip. Once he finds out, Blackadder smashes the turnip over Baldrick's head. Afterwards, Blackadder laments over spending " my last penny on a catskin windcheater," ruining a "priceless turnip," and upon hearing knocking at the door and yelling, realises that he's "about to be murdered by a naked Tunisian sock merchant," telling Baldrick that this is "the last time I dabble in politics!".
- Edmund Blackadder, Esq. - Rowan Atkinson
- Baldrick - Tony Robinson
- George - Hugh Laurie
- Mrs Miggins - Helen Atkinson-Wood
- Vincent Hanna - Vincent Hanna
- Sir Talbot Buxomly - Denis Lill
- Pitt the Younger - Simon Osborne
- Ivor Biggun - Geoffrey McGivern
- Pitt the Even Younger - Dominic Martelli
- Early in the episode, Hugh Laurie's character complains that his socks keep disappearing. Blackadder, effectively his valet, implies to the audience that he has been stealing and reselling them. The writers may have pinched the idea from "Jeeves Takes Charge", a 1916 entry in the Jeeves and Wooster canon. In that short story, Wooster's first valet was fired for stealing socks. Because the moment later appeared in the 1990 Stephen Fry/Hugh Laurie version of Jeeves Takes Charge, fans have sometimes wrongly assumed that Hugh Laurie's second televised lamentation about missing socks is a nod to "Dish and Dishonesty". In fact, however, it's much more likely that Richard Curtis and Ben Elton, basing the relationship of The Prince Regent and Blackadder on Wooster and Jeeves, were paying homage to P. G. Wodehouse.
- This is also the first ever episode of the entire Blackadder series to have Hugh Laurie credited as a main member of the main cast as he was previously credited as a guest star in the last two episodes of Blackadder II.