|“Plan F: Goodbyeee...”|
|4, Episode 6|
|Written by||Richard Curtis & Ben Elton|
|Directed by||Richard Boden|
|Guest stars||Geoffrey Palmer|
|Original airdate||2nd November 1989|
|List of episodes|
After spending considerable time in the rain-filled trench and noting "something's in the air," which George thought was Baldrick, Captain Blackadder's trench gets a phone call from General HQ; an assault has been ordered for the next day, at dawn. Realizing that this could well be the end, Blackadder plans to escape the war by feigning madness. Using a method he'd picked up during the colonial wars, he puts his underpants on his head and sticks two pencils up his nose, but his plan is thwarted when Melchett arrives to see what's going on, remarking that he had to shoot an entire platoon that pretended to go mad in the exact fashion Blackadder is attempting. Blackadder overhears and narrowly escapes Melchett's punishment by pretending he's relating a story of how troops feign madness to Baldrick, replete with the visual aids he'd prepared earlier.
After Melchett leaves, Baldrick suggests another alternative: that Blackadder ask Field Marshall Haig to get them out; Blackadder initially finds the plan absurd, but then remembers that he saved Haig's life during the colonial wars and decides to call in the morning. George, Baldrick and Blackadder discuss the war and the friends lost, to which a frustrated Baldrick asks why both sides can't just stop fighting and go home, to which George replies: "It wouldn't work because, there, well, now, you just get on with polishing those boots, all right? [...] I think I managed to crush the mutiny there, sir."
Back at General HQ, both Melchett and Darling are unable to sleep and discuss the upcoming battle. Melchett reveals that he always thought of Darling as a son, and has a surprise for him: a front-line commission. Darling pleads with Melchett to reconsider, but the general misinterprets his fear as enthusiasm. The following morning, Blackadder calls Field Marshall Haig and reminds him of his debt; Haig is supportive and suggests an old trick that never fails - that Blackadder should stick a couple of pencils up his nose, underpants on his head and pretend to be mad. Haig then declares the debt repaid and hangs up. At this moment Darling arrives, and both his and Blackadder's normal enmity is gone as both realize they're in the same poor position. George tries to cheer everyone up, only to realize that he's actually quite scared.
The men are called to the trench to prepare for the big push. There is a brief moment of hope when the British guns stop firing, but Blackadder remarks that the hope is misplaced, and the guns stopped because "not even our generals are mad enough to shell their own men: they think it's far more sporting to let the Germans do it." Baldrick comes up with his most cunning plan yet in order to escape, though Blackadder sadly says it will have to wait.
Blackadder concludes by wishing his squadmates good luck, and they charge over the top. The sequence enters slow motion as the Blackadder theme is played slowly on piano on minor key, gradually drowned by a slow, monotonous booming resembling cannon fire. The series ends as the mud of no man's land and the four characters fade into a tranquil field of poppies, with only birdsong disturbing the peace.
In the original ending (first mentioned in an interview and later shown in the documentary "Blackadder Rides Again"), the cast and the other soldiers charge over the top and a few seconds after that the whole group very unconvincingly began violently shaking (getting shot by Germans). Baldrick is the first to die from the cast and falls down near Blackadder and Darling and George (with very amusing faces) slowly die next. Soon after everyone is dead and the firing has stopped, Blackadder, who only pretended he was dead, gets up again.
- Captain Blackadder - Rowan Atkinson
- Private Baldrick - Tony Robinson
- Lieutenant George - Hugh Laurie
- Captain Darling - Tim McInnerny
- General Melchett - Stephen Fry
- Field Marshall Haig - Geoffrey Palmer